Run Eat Tri Yogi

  Healing sucks. It’s painful, emotionally draining and just plain exhausting. Negative thoughts run through my head constantly - am I really experiencing this XX or am I being paranoid/sensitive/angry for an underlying issue from my past?  Every one of those thoughts and emotions is dissected and redirected into something rational and hopefully, something positive. I had been dealing with low self-esteem and feelings of not being wanted, being excluded from groups and gatherings of my peers for the past few months. Some of those people avoiding me when they see me. I didn’t know why. I never cared to fit in with cliques and I’m known to not kiss ass to be welcomed or liked. So why does it bug me so much now? I never fit in. I was bi-racial in a country that was so racist, that in the 90s people would refuse to sit in my seat when I gave it up to an elder (literally anyone older than me). I was never invited to anyone’s house. New neighbors didn’t bring over rice cake pe...

The scary and frustrating aspect of racing is that it can be unpredictable.  You can follow the training program to the letter, stick to your rest days, fit in strength training and have your nutrition on point. But on race day, your body can say "Not Today" BTS I've had enough of those race days that I don't like to talk about my goals - time or distance- before I race so as not to jinx it.  And I've hardly had much luck at this race. The first year, my feet got so swollen I could hardly put my shoes on. I called it once I reached 40M - short of 10 miles. Another year, I had to stop at 14 hours because my hip went out.... This year, it was my ITB. To be completely transparent, I had woken up with neck pain a few weeks prior. It would go away and come back - on repeat. Setting up my home base for the next 24 hours In the back of my mind, I had a goal of 100K. Something I've been attempting for a few years unsuccessfully. And then to run as much...

I finished my last brick workout today and unexpectedly, I broke down in tears. That's it. Now it's onto race week. And then race day. All those months of training have flown by. What seemed like a distant (crazy) goal to train for is finally within sight. All those hours plugging away on my training, sore & hating myself for signing up for this challenge ... I sat down on the porch to take it all in. It feels like awaiting a trip to Disney World and the death chamber at the same time. The taper madness... I thought I was ready. Believe me, I was physically exhausted and more than ready to rest! I'd been looking forward to these weeks and let my body reset after beating it up all the way up to peak training month. Here's the madness aspect of the taper. The mind argues that it wasn't enough. It's telling me I still have ways to go."What makes you think you can even toe the starting line?" It makes me question even my strongest training days....

Do you have a friend, family member or a co-worker training for a full Ironman? You're not sure? It's the person you know who is incessantly complaining about their IM training. Symptoms include irritability, constant hunger, no social life and some weird tan lines (that they're oddly proud of). Before you think about cutting off ties with that asshole poor person, let me explain what's really going on behind the scenes and how to best deal with the situation... I come mainly from an ultrarunning background. That's my jam. Which, by the way, they literally have jam out on the course too, which is not the main reason I love my ultras.  Somehow, I decided to go for a triathlon.  And then someone insisted we do a half Ironman. Sure, why not? I JUST signed up for a sprint but training for a 70.3 for next spring sounds more fun. After 2 half Ironmans under my belt, my ego got the best of me and thought, "I'm ready for the full." A full Ironman con...

This is not my first DNF but it is my first for a triathlon.  I'll be 100% honest and say this was not a race I was taking too seriously. I had signed up to use this event as a training day on my way to Ironman Chattanooga in Sept. But as I took on more personal training clients and classes at work, my own training hours dwindled. I kept up with my swimming and running but my bike rides weren't what they were last year when I was training for Ironman Chatt 70.3. This particular event was also just a week before Titletown Ultra 15.5, where I was going to attempt my first 100k. I went back and forth on whether I'd even go ahead with Baycare 70.3. But what better way to get an open water swim session in? And a group ride and run with support along the way? So I went ahead with it... here are the events of that day. I settled into my hotel room (reserved less than 24 hours ago) by 7pm and tried to get some rest before getting up at 4:50am.  Everything was packed and rea...

I wrote about what living with depression and anxiety is like in my post " Depression Hit Me Hard Today"   But I want to keep the conversation going. Like the #MeToo movement, this topic needs to be continued and be brought up until we treat it like any other illness that can be seen.  I know too many people who struggle with mental health issues that are hesitant to say anything because of the stigma. **And by the way, the following story isn't to bash police officers. Seriously, those who took offense to my Facebook post on this can stay gone.** I had a complete meltdown in my car a few days ago.  I got pulled over for going 2 MPH over the speed limit on the interstate. A small thing, right? Frustrating for sure. Especially since I was in near panic up to an hour earlier from dodging others doing their own high-speed chases. 2.over.the.speed.limit. It didn't help that I then got an earful from the officer about where I pulled over (side of passing lane "I...

"Depression hit me hard today," I thought to myself as I was heading off to bed. It was a reminder that what I'm feeling and thinking aren't "normal". I'm extra sensitive to people's expressions, words and my own negative thoughts during days like these. Imagine a flatline on the heart monitor and then a jolt of energy showing up. Except that jolt is the complete opposite of energy. It completely saps me of mine and I feel like I'm in a tar pit, trying to make my way out. I made a mental note to just let it all pass - sometimes it only lasts a day and hoped the next day would be lighter. Day 2... I wake up even more tired and immediately feel anxious. But I don't know why. I make my way to the bathroom and feel this cloud of dread over me. I just want to cradle my head in my hands and cry in the dark bathroom. I try to get a handle on this situation before it gets worse. What is it about today? What happened last night that may have spill...