Run Eat Tri Yogi

"Depression hit me hard today," I thought to myself as I was heading off to bed. It was a reminder that what I'm feeling and thinking aren't "normal". I'm extra sensitive to people's expressions, words and my own negative thoughts during days like these. Imagine a flatline on the heart monitor and then a jolt of energy showing up. Except that jolt is the complete opposite of energy. It completely saps me of mine and I feel like I'm in a tar pit, trying to make my way out. I made a mental note to just let it all pass - sometimes it only lasts a day and hoped the next day would be lighter. Day 2... I wake up even more tired and immediately feel anxious. But I don't know why. I make my way to the bathroom and feel this cloud of dread over me. I just want to cradle my head in my hands and cry in the dark bathroom. I try to get a handle on this situation before it gets worse. What is it about today? What happened last night that may have spill...

I actually started writing this last week as I was in the midst of updating my dusty resume and writing up a new cover letter for a position that I have no professional experience in (but plenty of personal experience!) but I couldn't focus on the task at hand. Because I knew I missed a few items from my last grocery shopping trip and I couldn't remember what it was or if it was even important - can it wait until the next time I remember? Because I heard my little one dumping out her Legos when she should've be getting started on her school work. I had cold coffee in the other room but I was "too busy" to stop what I was doing to grab it because I know I'd get distracted by something else and not come back to my computer. I also had 4 hours to finish 2hr bike + 3 mile run before cleaning up and getting my kids off to their friend's house. I recently saw a video from That's Inappropriate - the mom trying to explain how she was just o...

I saw a few posts yesterday that mentioned September was Suicide Awareness Month. I don't know how I missed that...  Late to the game as usual and to be honest, I was a little bit relieved. It meant I didn't have to face my history of depression and suicide attempts.  I could continue to go on as if that was and is no longer my life. Why deal with things when you can just shrug it off and move on?  Because it helps no one. And to not say something is to take the gift I was given and toss it aside - all because it'd be more comfortable to not address it. So please allow my late entrance to this discussion and maybe keep the conversation going. I wasn't completely oblivious to the subject of suicide on social media. I was thankful to see the "Faces of Suicide" being posted. I apparently didn't get the clues but something moved me while seeing those posts. 6th grade That was me around 13yrs of age. In less than a year, I would make multipl...

Can we just be real here?  With so many people getting offended on social media these days and having unwritten "rules" on what you can/should/must post, I decided to come here. At first I thought "I hate airing any type of laundry for public to see..." but this is real life. I am exhausted. Do you know the ingredients for making someone go crazy? 1) Do not listen to that person. 2) Make that person repeat themselves repeatedly. 3) Repeat 1 and 2 a few more time. In fact, do it 10 times minimum. EVERY DAY. 4). When said person finally loses it and starts screaming what they had said originally, call him/her (me) crazy and continue with 1 and 2. I am so tired. Beyond exhausted - it's mentally and physically exhausting. As a mom of a pre-teen and 2 very stubborn girls (which, I admit, they got from me).  As an employee who keeps getting pushed out and over. As a supposed family member who has been sho wn to not be an important part of their lives (for mo...