Run Eat Tri Yogi

"Depression hit me hard today," I thought to myself as I was heading off to bed. It was a reminder that what I'm feeling and thinking aren't "normal". I'm extra sensitive to people's expressions, words and my own negative thoughts during days like these. Imagine a flatline on the heart monitor and then a jolt of energy showing up. Except that jolt is the complete opposite of energy. It completely saps me of mine and I feel like I'm in a tar pit, trying to make my way out. I made a mental note to just let it all pass - sometimes it only lasts a day and hoped the next day would be lighter. Day 2... I wake up even more tired and immediately feel anxious. But I don't know why. I make my way to the bathroom and feel this cloud of dread over me. I just want to cradle my head in my hands and cry in the dark bathroom. I try to get a handle on this situation before it gets worse. What is it about today? What happened last night that may have spill...

"Oh no, what happened?" is my usual reply, thinking they have an injury.  The reply from the other person usually goes along like "Well, it's not that I can't. But I don't. I don't like it and don't want to do it." I get it. You have no idea how much I get it. That was me most of my life. Remember those 1-mile runs in gym class? Day from hell. Always the last one with the gym teacher calling out, "You can just walk the last lap." It didn't help that I needed an inhaler for most active sports. Even after I lost 49lbs (yes, the OCD in me hates that odd number too), I had no desire to run. "Why would I run when I can just walk the same distance and not be in pain? Or hate myself?" I had lost most of my weight with changing my diet and walking; I felt no need to change anything. In fact, I was one of those people who would get angry over your running posts. Seriously, why? Why would anyone want to put themselves throu...

I actually started writing this last week as I was in the midst of updating my dusty resume and writing up a new cover letter for a position that I have no professional experience in (but plenty of personal experience!) but I couldn't focus on the task at hand. Because I knew I missed a few items from my last grocery shopping trip and I couldn't remember what it was or if it was even important - can it wait until the next time I remember? Because I heard my little one dumping out her Legos when she should've be getting started on her school work. I had cold coffee in the other room but I was "too busy" to stop what I was doing to grab it because I know I'd get distracted by something else and not come back to my computer. I also had 4 hours to finish 2hr bike + 3 mile run before cleaning up and getting my kids off to their friend's house. I recently saw a video from That's Inappropriate - the mom trying to explain how she was just o...

"You should write a book!" is often the response I get when I share some details of my past. Whether they're fascinated by how I was moved around most of my life or finding out about some of the traumas I've gone through, it usually ends with them encouraging me to write a book. I've wanted to for years. Though I'm glad I never followed through in my earlier years  - not because I didn't want to share my story but because my story had barely begun. Now, as I shuffle through all the paperwork of my past, it seems like a good time to dip my toes into this mess I called my past. Like a good little bride, I waited until the last minute to get ready for the big day. No? Just me? With a little over 2 months to go, I needed to find my Certification of Birth Abroad (no birth certificate) along with proof of address to get my marriage license.  It turns out I have nothing "official" (besides my living, breathing body) to show that I was born. How d...

Races tend to fall between hard and easy. There are some where it just seems to flow and others where you're gritting your teeth and wondering what made you sign up for this race. Or any race. Why even run anyway?  I'm somewhere in-between the two. I ran this race last year as a birthday gift and told the director I'll be back to run it on my actual birthday 4/1. We drove down to Brookfield/Delafield the night before, forgetting that we'd be arriving in the area right about 4:30-5pm on Friday night, just in time for the traffic! Packet pick up was a breeze and once we ate our dinner, we headed to the hotel where I started the obsession into what I'd wear tomorrow. Checking the hourly temps by the hour... I think this was one of the few times I got a decent night of sleep before a race! We arrived at the Schuetz recreation center in time for me to stop by the drop-bag table and then we just waited. I was restless so I kept going back and forth from the bath...

Ambassador - info below ++         ICEBREAKER INDOOR MARATHON 1/29/17 My last race was in November 2016 and I enjoyed every minute of my "off season". Off season = mostly 70.3 training and less focus on high mileage. It was all about brick workouts and gaining my endurance back on the bike and swim. It wasn't until the new year that I realized I had not done any runs over 13.1 miles. I was so used to racing every month and not having to keep up with my long runs.  The frigid Wisconsin weather didn't help at all either. I love running in cold temps but attempting 15+ miles out on ice, slush, mounds of snow and -25F wind chill temps don't mix well. I had to focus on time on feet training vs mileage training. Several 3 hour runs still didn't feel like I'd done enough! But race weekend was here and it was time to test out my training so far. I was hoping all those hours on the bike and the brick workouts would somehow carry over to marathon...

I was on my 3rd lap of the 7 mile loop and as I was trying divert my attention to anything else so as to forget about the tiredness in my legs at the time.  I thought "Well, this should be a very boring race recap.  Not even blog worthy... Captioned: I ran 7 miles over and over again and it hurt." But by the end of that lap, I was in a much better place. Last year's race. Loved it so much I came back! I arrived early on race day for packet pick-up and to get closer parking than I had last year.  It was dark and the handful of people there were wearing headlamps. After grabbing my bib and bag, I sat and warmed up in the car for awhile -- and charging my Garmin that I'd left in the car overnight. After 45 min or so, I grudgingly exited my toasty car (no, I didn't run it that long but it was warmer than outside!), grabbed my gear bag and headed to the main aid station area. This is what I enjoy about loop races -- I have access to my gear after each lap. ...